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Starcat’s Favorites: Farewell to May

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Our lilacs in bloom.

Happy weekend! Hard to believe that it’s the end of May already. How has your spring been going? Mine’s been a bit crazy, but I seem to be settling into the ramped-up energies of this time of year. This week has been filled with creative work on the novel revisions, getting outdoors between raindrops, yoga, and family time. Enjoy the rest of the weekend and remember to take time to rest.

This lovely article is a beautiful reminder to be kind to ourselves, especially when we’re in the process of change (and when are we not?).

Feeling overwhelmed? This thoughtful post can help.

We just started reading Smithsonian magazine in our household, thanks to a friend of Mom’s who passes along the issues when she’s done reading. Wow! This article on new evidence for theories about the origins of the universe was fantastic. And the whole May issue is full of great reading, from interviews with Sir Patrick Stewart and Peter Matthiessen to an article on the interaction of science fiction and new technology. I highly recommend it.

This week I’ve been pondering about connecting different facets of myself: heart and mind, for example. This was both sparked by and reflected in some of the reading I’ve been doing. This astrology forecast for the New Moon that happened this week and this blog post both speak to the integration I’m immersed in.

I’m focusing on my physical health and wellness this spring. For me, that means giving up sugar again. Here’s an article with some good tips for getting through changes in diet in a healthy way: surviving sugar detox.

These reflections on an alternative school and its principles remind me a lot of unschooling. I also like the connection to Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey. We are each the protagonist of our own story. Love it!


Why Are These Kids So Happy?

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LifeRocks14I love enjoying places where families on the free-learning path can meet one another, give and receive support, and share in the fun.  I want to foster those spaces everywhere, and hang out with my tribe. Not just unschoolers, either, but people of all ages, races, genders, orientations, and walks of life who are embracing their creativity, creating community, and encouraging each other to be their own best self!

I saw a lot of happy kids up at this year’s Life Rocks! Radical Unschooling Conference in North Conway, NH. Why are they happy? Well, of course, only each individual can know those inner reasons. But my speculation, after years in these types of supportive and freedom-loving communities, is that it’s because the kids are pursuing their own interests. They’re doing what they love.

Unschooled kids can, like adults when we are at our best, organize their own days as they wish. They can create balance based on a wide array of interests and pursuits. They work at the things that fascinate them, and play with ideas, materials, and experiences all the time. They are figuring out their best ways of learning, through trial and error, and in cooperation with others in their family, group of friends, and wider community.

ElvenTiger, now 15, loves to go to Life Rocks! and see friends from all around the country. They hang out, swim in the pool, play games like Werewolf, stay up late making up witty puns and then spreading them all around the conference tribe.  They talk and laugh and share their interests with one another. 

The younger kids, too, looked like they were having a fantastic time. Lots of running around, laughing, joyful shrieking. To be sure, there were tears and upset times of conflict too, but those faded quickly as the little ones were supported by their parents and the other moms and dads. There were nerf gun wars, field games like tug of war, and lots of fun toys and crafts to choose.

Come to think of it, it wasn’t just the kids, either. The adults were having a lot of fun, too! We are busily unlearning the “rules” we were taught earlier in life, and sharing stories, laughs, and wisdom.

When people of all ages are encouraged to explore their own passions and interests, they flourish. Think about it in the context of your own life – when are the times you felt absolutely giddy with happiness? What were you doing? How were you being supported and loved, by yourself and others?

Hey, tribe, keep on rockin! Find those spaces where you can truly be yourself. You’re part of the peaceful revolution. You know who you are! And you rock!

Starcat’s Favorites: Healthy Living

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Mexicansalad.jpg…or my current best attempt at it, anyway, as I’m still learning. I’m doing yoga five times a week or more. I had a massage this week (thanks, Mom and Dad, for the gift card!).  I’ve cut out refined sugar (including alcohol), and have been avoiding fried foods (not that I eat a lot of them, but you know, like corn chips and crackers) and bread. I’m eating some dairy, but keeping it to a minimum. I’ve been indulging my body’s craving for fresh greens, which is easy since our first CSA box was chock-full of organic greens. So good! Here’s a Mexican salad which has been a lunchtime favorite lately. It contains a variety of greens, homemade pinto beans, tomatoes, cukes, homemade salsa, black olives, a bit of Cabot sour cream, and sunflower seeds. Yum!

Things have been busy here as the days seem to just zip by. I do have a few links for you, to help brighten up your weekend.

This sounds like it’s a perfect way to relax and create. A combination of poetry, collaging, and making vision boards. I’m in!

A big YES! to this blog post. “I stopped struggling and accepted the fact that magic is real…”

Learning new things is not only fun, but keeps your brain healthy. And – dancing is important.

A friend and longtime reader of this blog sent me this lovely and thoughtful article on grieving. The book is on my wish list now. Wow. Thank you.

When we were at the Life Rocks! conference, we got to see Dr. Peter Gray, the keynote speaker, who was releasing results from a study of grown unschoolers. Here’s his blog post on what he discovered. It’s an overview, to be followed by more detailed posts soon. Very interesting stuff.

I wish you good health, much joy, and a life that overflows with love.

Starcat’s Favorites: The Heart of Summer

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Do you feel like summer is just zooming right by? Me too. What can we do to make summer linger a bit more? That’s simple. Make an effort to get outside and enjoy it.

fd140716somessoundI know, you’re busy. Me too. But let’s face it, the warm weather months won’t wait for us to check off all the items on the ever-present to-do list. Take a break. Get outside for a picnic, BBQ, walk, hike, swim, some puttering in the garden, or whatever floats your boat. Enjoy it!

Here are some thought-provoking and fun links to peruse while lounging on your beach blanket or camp chair…

Did you pick a Word of the Year for 2014? It’s time to check in and see how your word is inspiring you now.

This post provides a wealth of fascinating resources for exploring what Jung called our “shadow side” and how it relates to art and creativity. Follow the links to go down the rabbit hole!

Here’s another interesting article on the contribution of various factors, including practice and talent, toward achieving mastery.

Those of us doing creative work along with parenting or other care-giving, housekeeping, and working for others can be challenged with managing our time. How do we prioritize our creative work?

Teenagers keeping late-night hours?! Who would have thought!? Nope, it’s nothing new.

This is a terrific post on how to mentor your kids when they have big dreams. “Don’t set limits where limits aren’t necessary.” Love it.

The Secret Worth of Boredom

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ohsoboredDo you ever get bored? How about your kids? You must have heard that mournful cry: “I’m booooooooooored!” Followed by you proposing an increasingly inventive list of options, none of which appeal to them one bit. Sigh.

Boredom actually has a lot of value, though. When you’re bored, there’s not one thing you want to do…so you’re forced by circumstances to just be. That can be precious in our go-go-go world.

Being bored can spark your creativity, whether in the moment or later on. You might decide, like ElvenTiger, to draw fake tattoos on your arm with markers. This could lead to using those doodles to design a real tattoo, logo, or other artwork. Or you could just lie there and stare out the window, letting your thoughts drift. Did you know you’re meditating?

Boredom leads to daydreams, which can deliver original ideas for a story, an invention, or a themed road trip.

As a bookworm, I find that I’m not bored very often, as I simply pick up a book. That’s another valuable thing about being bored – more time to explore your imagination through the things you choose to read. If, heaven forbid, I get bored with reading itself (rare, but it has happened), I close my eyes and imagine new worlds of my own, filled with fantastical creatures.

Or you might drift off to sleep, and extra rest is a good thing.

Kids who are bored might learn to rely on themselves more, especially since parents never seem to have any useful ideas in that situation. They might try something they hadn’t thought of before, and getting out of your normal routine can spark all kinds of interesting food for thought and exploration!

See, boredom is good! It’s a valuable state of being for creative people – which is all of us.

Next time you feel bored, go with it. Don’t just do something, sit there!

Kid Interview Redux

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SwordplaySiblingsI’m not sure what made me remember this kid interview I did 3 years ago (interestingly, it was almost exactly 3 years ago). I had borrowed the idea from the Ordinary Life Magic blog. The idea is that your kids answer questions about you, and you get some insight into their perspective. Although I think it’s intended for younger kids, it was fun to interview my two teens. Give it a try with your kiddos; you might be surprised at some of their answers!

Dryst, age 17 (well, 18 in just one week):

1. What is something I always say to you?
I love you.

2. What makes me happy?
Uh, um, love and family.

3. What makes me sad?
Anger.

4. How do I make you laugh? 
By being a goofy mother.

5. What was I like as a child?
Uh, a quiet bookworm.

6. How old am I?
Oh God, actually, this is really hard. 43? Is that right? (laughing) No? That’s just ‘cause you look 43.

7. How tall am I? 
Five-two.

8. What is my favorite thing to do? 
Read books.

9. What do I do when you’re not around? 
Celebrate.

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
Uh, writing a series of adventure novels.

11. What am I really good at?
Lots of stuff. Anything involving intelligence.

12. What am I not very good at?
Sports.

13. What do I do for a job?
Part-time at the radio station, and book-writing stuff.

14. What is my favorite food? 
I really don’t know, I feel like it changes too much for me to know.

15. What makes you proud of me?
You do a great job of being a mother. (Me: really?) Why not?

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
Arthur.

17. What do you and I do together?
Drive places. I dunno.

18. How are you and I the same?
We’re both Virgos, and therefore have Virgo personalities.

19. How are you and I different?
I’m a boy and you’re a girl. You’re middle-aged and I’m young. I’m less Virgo-y than you. There’s too many answers to this. I’m more outgoing.

20. How do you know I love you? 
Because you say it all the time. And because you love me.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?
I love you.

ElvenTiger, age 15:

1. What is something I always say to you? 
I don’t know… I love you? That’s kind of an obvious one.

2. What makes me happy?
Lots of things, like conferences, and hanging out with really cool people.

3. What makes me sad?
People arguing.

4. How do I make you laugh?
Um, you make jokes! (laughs)

5. What was I like as a child?
I didn’t know you when you were a child. Shy.

6. How old am I?
45? Did you just turn 45, or are you just about to? (Me: about to). So, 44.

7. How tall am I?
Five-two, well, about that.

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
Write and drum.

9. What do I do when you’re not around?
Read. Yoga.

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
Your writing, and your performing.

11. What am I really good at?
Um, your writing, drumming, other stuff.

12. What am I not very good at?
Hula-hooping.

13. What do I do for a job?
You write.

14. What is my favorite food?
You don’t really have a specific favorite food. You like lots of different interesting foods.

15. What makes you proud of me?
All kinds of stuff! I’m not gonna be specific about that. All the stuff. Being the loving, crazy, creative person you are!

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
The Cat in the Hat. He’s mischievous, smart, and I dunno… The Cat in the Hat, you know!

17. What do you and I do together?
Lots of things. We go to interesting unschooling conferences and music festivals.

18. How are you and I the same?
(Laughing) Well, when we’re thinking, we both tip our heads to the side (which we had both just done). We’re creative, fun-loving free spirits.

19. How are you and I different?
You’re more intellectual and I’m more, well, I like doing things. I mean, the way we learn.

20. How do you know I love you?
For one thing, you say it every day. So, yeah, that’s a pretty obvious one.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?
No.

 

Starcat’s Favorites: Processing

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Summer is winding down, and along with a tinge of sadness in the air, there’s the excitement of autumn energies. Harvest in the gardens, fresh homemade salsa and pesto, and time to dive back into the creative projects that have been on hiatus during the more active, warmer months.

Coming out of the intense busy-ness that is my August, I feel drawn to inner work. I’m relishing the stillness, the contemplation, and the re-organizing of my goals and priorities. I’m figuring out how to balance activities that help me make a living with those that I do for fun – even if they cost money rather than bring it in. It’s an interesting conundrum. I need and want to devote my time and energy to those things that help support our family – particularly the ones I’m still nourishing, like my writing career – and yet there are other things I enjoy that also call for my attention, like performing, and volunteering in the Pagan and unschooling communities.

At the same time, I’m working through the next phase of my grief for my dear friend Jenn, who entered hospice care this time last year. I’m really missing Jenn a lot, and integrating the things I’ve learned from her and her journey of life and death. This work causes me to crave lots of down time. Some days I want to ditch the schedule and just walk on the beach by myself.

My parenting journey is also shifting and changing as the kids get older. Their needs are at once simpler, as they can do a lot for themselves, and more complex, as they seek guidance in learning to navigate their worlds as young adults. It’s all good, and I’m blessed to have two wonderful kids. Still, change means an adjustment.

It’s a lot of inner processing, even for an introvert.

Along the way, I’ve uncovered some fun reading to share with you. Enjoy!

Here’s a useful look at two different mindsets on life-long learning and success. Do you tend more toward a fixed mindset, or one of growth?

“Sit There, Then Do Something.” We need both stillness and action in our lives. An excellent perspective.

There are many different ways to learn and study. Some folks study how we study!

This article was one of the posts written just after Robin Williams died. Very intense and poignant. Warning: there is some strong language.

Here’s an article about the biggest SCA event (historical re-enactment) in the U.S. I’ve attended once, and this post had me cracking up laughing. Another prolific swear word warning. I guess that’s a thing this week.

A well-written and engaging article on unschooling in a fairly mainstream magazine. Woo hoo! Here’s another positive unschooling article, from a newspaper in Montreal.

Enjoy your weekend!

How To Reclaim Your Personal Power

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Do you ever see pictures or posts from your classmates on Facebook and think, “really, that’s so-and-so?! But they’re just an ordinary person, like me!” Particularly the men and women who were once “the popular kids,” arbitrators of all things “cool.” They were up there on a pedestal in high school: the golden ones, the jocks and the cheerleaders. Now they’re posting about their job or sharing photos of their kids or seeking support for a health issue, and you realize that they’re fully human.

My brother (left) and I at DisneyWorld in 1985.

My brother (left) and I at DisneyWorld in 1985. Photo by Aunt Peg.

I was very shy as a kid, and I had no idea how to be “cool,” which in the 1980s meant “preppy.” I tried. Which was probably my first mistake. I even read books about it – yes, I owned The Official Preppy Handbook. I was so busy trying to be like someone else that I couldn’t see the positive qualities that were mine.

Like many of us, I gave away my power to the kids I thought had it all together. But it was an illusion. I was making assumptions. They were just kids, too, just regular people, like me, with their fears and hopes and worries.

Why do we do this? Why do we idealize others and seek their blessings on who we are? I think, for those of us who attended public school, it’s because we were taught to do so.

First there were the teachers, whose approval or disapproval ruled our days. For the most part, what was rewarded was not creativity, but rather memorization and reiteration of what they had just told us one or two classes ago. They were in charge of our everyday experience, and I for one wanted those gold stars and A grades.

It was natural to continue that approval-seeking in the realm of clothes, music, and dating. The kids who had a bit more self-confidence, or excelled at things the kid community valued, like sports or fashion, became the leaders by default. You either sought their endorsement, or rebelled against it and formed alternate groups.

Some of us took a long time to get away from that type of behavior. We transferred it to college, careers, and keeping up with the Joneses. Sometimes you don’t even realize when you’re giving away your power. Awareness is the first step.

These days, I feel I’m finally becoming free of my old approval-seeking ways. It’s so liberating. Seeing my childhood heroes show up as regular middle-aged folk on Facebook has certainly helped. So has nurturing my own unique abilities, and letting go of comparisons to others and the things they can do. We all bring our own talents, skills, and positive qualities to this lifetime.

You can’t be good at everything, nor should you expect that from yourself.

Realize that you are the one in charge of your own experience. You’re the one who gets to decide where to put your energies. Sure, there are still external factors that you need to consider; for example, your boss or clients will need to like what you’re offering.

But you don’t need to please everyone.

It works best, in fact, when you start with approving of yourself, with doing good work that you can be proud of and nurturing your gifts. Begin to reclaim your power by setting goals that truly matter to you, then working steadily toward them. Practice. Try, and fail, and try again. Take small steps toward your goals every single day. Let yourself learn and grow. Surround yourself with people who appreciate and respect you.

If you want to go even deeper with it, you can visualize yourself revisiting the past. Talk to your child self as the mentor you’ve always wanted. Be reassuring. Gently embrace the fearful child inside you who just wanted to belong. Know that all is well.

You’re here, you’re amazing, and you already belong fully, just as you are.


Starcat’s Favorites: A Slow Transition

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March is here! Which is great, because it’s the month that contains the official start of Spring. And not-so-great, because it’s a month where I tend to struggle along. This particular seasonal transition seems to really leave me feeling “meh.” I’ve started a conversation about the March blues over on Facebook, and I’ll be summarizing and sharing some of the community’s wisdom here on the blog this coming week. Leave a comment if you have experiences or ideas to share!

In the meantime, here are some fun and interesting links to read while you’re curled up in your PJs with a cup of chai, dreaming of warmer weather. Or is that just me?

In the previous edition of Starcat’s Favorites, I posted a link on resilience. I’ve since encountered this article and also these tips on the same topic. Apparently resilience is important to pay attention to just now…maybe to help us get through this last bit of winter?

Perhaps some delicious metaphors and the questions they bring can help, too.

I love this little rant on the folly of righteousness.

As Spring does come along and there are more invitations and fun things going on, it’s good to remember not to do too much.

Are you ready to share your piece of the puzzle? (swear word alert). You might also want to examine your intentions and see how they line up with your daily life.

No matter how much it might feel like it, you’re not doing life wrong. Really.

Teens, and in particular unschooled teens, are such creative, vibrant, and fascinating people. I love this TED Talk where one teen shares her passion and where it’s led her.

How to Encourage Lifelong Learning in Your Family (and Yourself)

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This morning I was excitedly detailing in my journal the curriculum I have lined up for the rest of 2015. Nope, not for the kids – for myself. Nope, I’m not kidding or being sarcastic.

I have a stack of books and notebooks ready, along with e-books and videos. My topics of study range from novel-writing techniques and ethical marketing for authors to sacred geometry, desire mapping, and advanced meditation techniques.

To get right to the point of this post, I think the best way to encourage your children to be lifelong learners is to be a good role model. Be a lifelong learner yourself!

Truly, learning is a whole lot of fun. Without the whole buzz-kill of compulsory study on topics you may have no interest in whatsoever, discovering new ideas, skills, and philosophies is amazing. I always say that I would have made an excellent unschooler myself, if my family had known it existed back in the 70s and 80s.

Sure, my ways of learning look different than those of my kids. ElvenTiger, now 16, was recently talking with a younger girl who wanted to know about homeschooling. She was questioning how my daughter learned without textbooks and curriculum. “Well,” ElvenTiger quipped, “there’s this thing called the Internet…”

ElvenTiger (left) taught herself to spin poi, and now she lights her props on fire...

ElvenTiger (left) taught herself to spin poi, and now she lights her props on fire…

When my teens find something new they want to learn about, they start with a Google search. They know how to weed through forums and find video tutorials, and can sift through various sources like pros. They are savvy about advertising. They both know the necessity and value of practice, and will spend hours on pursuits that are meaningful to them.

Just like me.

If you’re looking to encourage yourself in the pursuit of lifelong learning, thinking outside the box helps. Many of us were brought up to believe that the only knowledge worth having was taught to us by official teachers in a classroom setting. Maybe that’s your best method of learning – but if not, don’t worry.

There are many different learning styles, and discovering your best way of exploring new concepts and skills (and your kids’ best methods, too) can be so empowering. Most of us do best with a mix of methods. I know that I learn best when I first read and write about a subject, then begin to practice it on my own. Learning in groups is not for me (too much pressure, which becomes distracting), and listening to new information is more challenging than simply reading the material myself.

Think about how you best learn something new, and then pick a subject that you find fascinating, mysterious, and intriguing. Now, get started! No authorities needed, just you and an open mind.

The more you learn and really get absorbed in the process, the more those around you will become inspired to do the same. Learning really is a joy and a blessing, not the drag that we might once have thought it was, on those nights when homework loomed and we longed to be outside in the warm evening air, watching the stars.

BlackLion got a telescope for $10. at a yard sale this weekend, and he’s already been checking out the moons of Jupiter and the craters on Earth’s lovely moon as well. He could wait to take an astronomy class, or brush up on what he learned in college, but instead he dove right in, letting his enthusiasm lead the way. Direct experience is learning, too.

Go and check out the world, alone or with your family. Life is a learning adventure, no matter your age or profession!

Starcat’s Favorites: Freedom and Fun

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hammocktimeIt’s Independence Day today in the U.S., where I live. Independence and freedom are words that get bandied about a lot, and getting into a political discussion really isn’t my thing. But I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been enjoying my personal freedom, and so I’m celebrating that.

My kids are teens. My son, Dryst, has just graduated from our wholeschool (we didn’t just stay home…even though it’s popularly known as homeschooling). My daughter ElvenTiger is 16 and has her first real boyfriend. They are amazing people, and becoming more self-sufficient by the day. Their independence is giving me more freedom to do what I love to do, like go away on retreats and dive into learning new things. I’m glad that they do still choose to hang out with me regularly, as well. My family is just the best!

This weekend I’m using my freedom to enjoy some vacation days with Quester. We’ll be hiking, swimming, and dancing to live music! Woo hoo!

I hope your weekend is a delight and your summer goes swimmingly. Here are some links to enjoy by the lake or in the hammock.

We’re a bit past the Summer Solstice now, but oh! how I love this post on the abundance of this time of year (and beyond).

Going to a festival, retreat, or intensive? Heed these words of wisdom from an amazing soul.

It feels so good to appreciate the simple things in life.

A deeply thoughtful essay on the body as a mirror and metaphor. Wow.

Here’s my latest post on Kind Over Matter, this one on your younger self and why you should play more.

Blessings of fireflies and cool waters!

Caskets and Comfort Zones

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“A comfort zone is just another word for a casket.” – Quester

Quester came up with that quote about seven years ago, when we were going through a lot of big changes in our lives. The biggest change was that I was quitting my full-time job to stay home with the kids and jump-start my writing career, while he entered the workforce again after being a full-time Dad for more than a decade. These were things that we both agreed we wanted, and yet at the same time, creating big change can be uncomfortable and scary.

The point, though, is that if you’re staying stuck in the same-old, same-old, status quo, just for the sake of being comfortable, you’re not really living. And if you don’t create change on your own terms, eventually the Universe will shake things up, perhaps not in the way you’d hoped.

There’s a woman in my community who seems really devoted to her own comfort zone. She has a job she likes well enough, friends and family she spends time with, and a cozy home with familiar routines she enjoys. Though she’s very kind and seems mostly content, I was kind of shocked to learn that she doesn’t really have any personal goals. She’s just not the type of person who deliberately focuses on how she can grow and learn and become more.

Which is fine, of course. We each live our lives in our own way.

The thing is, though, that the Universe keeps shaking things up for my friend. Over the past few years she’s had health issues, challenges at work, several friends in crisis, and even some trouble with the physical structure of her home. I can’t help but thinking that if she stepped outside of her comfort zone on her own, just a bit, just once in a while, she’d discover that change doesn’t always have to be negative or disruptive. I feel like she’d be a happier person.

The changes we welcome into our lives on purpose can be so much more meaningful than those that happen in order to shake us out of our inertia.

These days, Quester is working with a good friend, doing stone-masonry and landscaping, and is enjoying the work he does. I’ve published two books so far, and I’m working on my third. One of our kids is starting college next week (gulp!) and our other one is enjoying her life as an unschooler, pursuing her passions on her own terms (she would be a junior if she were in high school). No, life hasn’t been without challenges, but by surfing the waves of change on a regular basis, we become more flexible and adaptable.

Even though we’re working for ourselves, setting our own schedules and so forth, it’s still possible to get stuck in that comfort zone. BlackLion and I face that in our business, Feline Dreamers. What we’re doing in a particular area might not be working the way we wish, but it’s familiar, and it’s hard to know what to do instead. So we just keep going.

This fall, I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone once again. I’ve signed up for a business coaching program. It’s my first time investing in myself and my business this way. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. But writing great books and creating interesting content isn’t enough. We want to share our insights and wisdom with lots of people, and that means learning how to do more effective marketing – in an ethical way that doesn’t feel icky.

Fall always feels like a fresh, clean slate to me. It’s that “back to school” feeling, but in a good way, because I’m designing my own curriculum. I feel like pushing myself a bit will help me to be more inspired on many different levels.

What about you? How are you pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone? What goals and aspirations are you ready to pursue?

If you’re ready to create powerful positive change in your life, delving deep into your core beliefs can be a good place to start. Check out our Alchemy of Core Beliefs course, starting September 1st.

Patience & Perseverance – A Pep Talk

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sunflower.jpgHow is it possible that we’ve already reached the end of September? Is it just me, or has this entire month just flown right by?

Also, is anyone else being tossed around by the waves of cosmic energies lately? (Check out the dance of the stars and planets here and here). The super full moon eclipse, Mercury retrograde, and all sorts of conjunction-junctions feel to me like a stormy ride on a choppy sea. Hang on!

Meanwhile, I’ve been hard at work on a couple of big projects. Despite Mercury retrograde’s best attempts to slow me down – my laptop has been out of commission for a couple of weeks and is now in for repairs – I’m nearing completion of the first draft of my third book. It’s all about creating a custom-tailored daily spiritual practice, something I’ve been doing for years and wanted to share with the world. I’ve also been taking an online coaching course for women entrepreneurs with heart-centered businesses. It’s absolutely fantastic, and just what I needed. I’ve also been performing, celebrating birthdays, helping some friends, and more. It’s been two years now since my dear friend Jenn passed away, and I’ve been thinking of her a lot and musing on life and death and what’s beyond.

This has been such a year of transformation for me. How about you?

I arrived at the end of summer feeling like I was firmly grounded in my new sparkling reality – and while that’s true, I’ve been discovering this month how much I still have to learn. The coaching course has helped me to uncover even more old beliefs, resistance, and fears, that I’m now working on letting go. Layers and layers…

There are some significant changes in my family’s life, too, that are really good, but still require some adjustment. My son has started college, and while he’s still living at home for now, he’s become much more self-sufficient and autonomous. I’m so proud of him. My daughter continues to grow, learn, and follow her passions. For the first time in several years, we won’t be attending the weekly EarthSchool homeschooling co-op. She’s grown out of it, and while I’m glad to free up some time each week, I’m going to miss seeing the awesome families there on a regular basis.

Don’t tell anyone, but I even kind of miss soccer. I was a reluctant soccer mom, but it somehow doesn’t seem like fall without it. My son offered to attend a game with me, but it’s just not the same when he’s not out there on the field.

Change is challenging, but it’s how we grow. I’m thankful that my son asks for my help with proof-reading his college papers. My daughter and I are cooking up some fun plans for this year’s unschooling. She and BlackLion and I will be attending the Life Without Instructions conference in just a few days! I’m also really excited about expanding Feline Dreamers, using the new techniques I’m learning from my coach.

As far as riding the waves of the stormy patches, I think what’s helping me most is patience and perseverance. If I have a less-than-productive day, I chalk it up to needing a break, and get back to my writing the next day. When my emotions are all over the place, I do some extra meditation and write it all out in my journal. I let go of guilt and give myself a little pep talk.

It’s up to us to remember, again and again, that we’re not just worthy because of what we do. We are already eternal beings, worthy of love and blessings just by virtue of our existence.

Go forth from that space of self-love and self-acceptance, and follow the sparks of inspiration wherever they take you. Be patient with yourself. Keep trying. Follow your dreams, yes, but also go with the flow, letting your intuition guide you.

Life is an amazing journey, and while it’s often full of unexpected twists and turns, you learn more and more each day.

Stick with it. You’ve got this.

Starcat’s Favorites: Autumn’s Beauty

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I wanted to share an inspiring post with you today about my experience at the Life Without Instructions (LWI) unschooling conference in New Jersey. It will be full of photos of people of all ages enjoying their freedom and joy, with quotes and bits of wisdom that I gleaned from my experience there. It will tie in unschooling, freedom, creativity, and spirituality. It’ll be awesome.

BlackLion took this photo on one of our recent walks.

BlackLion took this photo on one of our recent walks.

Alas, I haven’t had the chance to finish that post just yet. I’ve been recovering from travel and catching up with a bunch of work and household stuff. I’ve also been taking walks and enjoying the beauty of autumn. What a lovely season.

So instead of that post, I’ll share some of my favorite links from the past few weeks – and schedule in some more time to write about LWI soon.

Being your true self isn’t always easy, but it’s so worth it!

Do you have a morning ritual? Something uplifting that you do each morning, just for you? Try it.

Looking for happiness? This episode of NPR’s TED Radio Hour will help with some clues. Also, I highly recommend watching the movie Hector and the Search for Happiness. Laugh and learn.

I guess I’m all about the audio this week. Here’s another terrific public radio program, this one on creativity.

The truth is, being a Mom is hard sometimes. Especially when they’re little. Leonie speaks it out loud.

Have a delightful weekend!

 

Starcat’s Favorites: Inner Enthusiasm

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snowday16Last weekend I had the chance to go to Play Church, which is a new offering from the Play Nexus crew. Their playshops are full of energy, joy, expansion, and high vibes. After some pondering, I decided I wouldn’t go, and BlackLion seemed to think that meant I was feeling low-energy, or not well in some way.

I explained that I was actually quite high-vibe, but in an inner way.

Sometimes my zest for life expresses itself quietly. A morning at home in a comfy chair, with warm clothes, hot tea, and my journal, was what felt the most “YES!” for me at the time. From the outside, it might have looked like I was being passive or quiet, yet my inner world was chock-full of color, ideas, and joy. I wanted some time to unwrap and play with my visions, all on my own.

This time of year feels perfect for exploring your inner enthusiasm. What are the passions that you hold close within your heart? What does your intuition whisper when you get really still and listen closely? What is your imagination brewing up, deep in the wellspring of your soul? What’s lighting up your inner landscape?

It’s an ebb and flow. This weekend, I’m heading off to Play Church, ready to dance and laugh and explore in the company of other joyful seekers.

What’s your weekend looking like? Here are some links to explore as you take time to relax.

Have you chosen your Word of the Year yet? Mine is AUTHENTIC. It’s feeling really good so far. Also, if you haven’t gotten your Leonie Dawson planner yet, what are you waiting for? Seriously, just do it; you’ll love it!!!

Check out these 16 Gentle Practices for Thriving in 2016.

In past years, I had a hard time loving winter. I feel more fondness for it now. If you need some help with savoring the cold and dark season, this article has some good suggestions.

I love this article about having relationships without expectations. It really resonates with my own approach to life and love. “It’s not, in the end, about polyamory at all. It’s about human connection in whatever shape it may take.” Yes!

So much yes to this. “Whole and holy.”

Wisdom from Kris Carr about sugar and what forms of it belong in one’s diet.

Interesting food for thought for entrepreneurs, about following your own career passions rather than settling for someone else’s.

I think this article explaining unschooling via cookie baking does a good job of comparing different approaches to child-led learning.

Enjoy your day, lovely one!


Starcat’s Favorites: Those Dark Nights

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Although this winter has been much milder in terms of weather, I feel like I’ve really been in the deep, dark, depths the past couple of months. You know those infamous “dark nights of the soul?” Yeah, those are the ones.

I’ve written about my troubles here already, so I’m not going to go into it too much more, except to say that my family member who was in hospice has made his transition to the non-physical. I’m finally feeling like I have some of my energy back after being so sick, and my Mom seems to be on the mend as well.

In the meantime, prepare for lots of links, since I’ve had plenty of time resting in bed and reading!

As someone who searches for reasons for just about everything, this article helped me make sense of why things were feeling so dark. This was helpful, too, and so poetic…

Gratitude for living a charmed life.

Here’s where I’m hoping to go, with my trusty word of the year, AUTHENTIC, at my side.

You’re more creative than you think, and here’s why.

Feel like you’re chronically busy? Watch out, as it can negatively affect your health.

I’ve been using this technique of “gridding” for a while now. I first learned of it from my friends at the Play Nexus, but I knew it came from Abraham-Hicks. Here’s a good explanation of the emotional grid technique.

These introvert comics are so adorable! I agree with most of them, though I do actually have fun on vacations.

Yet more reasons why unschooling rocks. Also, “if you want your children to bring original ideas into the world, you need to let them pursue their passions, not yours.”

Starcat’s Favorites: All At Once

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fd140716rockybeachAcadiaAll at once, it’s summer in Maine. The weather is (for the most part) gorgeous. Schedules have changed, wedding and anniversary season is upon us, and the coaching course I’m in is wrapping up. As I write this, I’m also in the midst of getting ready to facilitate a wedding for some friends this afternoon, a workshop I organized is happening tomorrow, and I’m getting ready for a trip on Wednesday. Busy summer season has begun! And seemingly all at once…

Here are some links for you to enjoy, in the hammock or by the water, or when you finally collapse into bed after a delightful weekend day full of fun. Enjoy!

It’s the New Moon in Gemini today, and if it feels pretty intense, you’re not alone. Wow.

On loving yourself fully – so important!

What’s up with creative people hating their own work? This article asks “What happens when persistence gets curdled by perfectionism?”

A little note for the introverts among us. “You don’t need to be anything but what you are.”

I love this look at the future of work. Let’s also rethink money while we’re at it!

Feeling “meh?” Maybe you just need to take a break.

I may have shared this article before – it’s one of my recent Kind Over Matter posts – but I’m so immersed in this work right now, I just had to send it around again.

Our unschooling friends Lainie and Miro did an awesome TED Talk in Amsterdam!

Enjoy your weekend, and blessings!

Starcat’s Favorites: Seeking Ideas

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snugglingbeastiesWow, how can it be February already? This has been a very wintry week here in frosty Maine. After a lull, we’ve been having snowstorms left and right. But hey, even though the days are growing longer, it’s still winter for a few more weeks. Especially here. It’s so chilly, cats have been seen snuggling with dogs!

I’m currently seeking ideas for posts to share with you here.

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting as often, and part of it is that I’ve been busy with life in general and with my business, Feline Dreamers. But I’m also wondering what topics you’d most love to hear about. Please leave a comment below and let me know.

Some of my own ideas for upcoming posts include another in the series on the Tarot (got a particular card you’re wondering about?), a report on how my bullet journaling adventure is going (spoiler: I love it!!!), and maybe an excerpt from my most recent book, The Heart of the Goddess. What do you think?

Okay, on with the best of the links I’ve discovered over the past month or so! Enjoy your weekend.

Last month ElvenTiger turned 18! I know, big milestone! She’s my youngest, so it’s also a milestone for me as a Mom – we’re in a whole new phase of parenting now. I freaking love my adult kids and their partners! Anyway, since she’s an awesome Capricorn (and I have some wonderful Capricorn friends, too), here’s a post on why this sign is so essential to keep around.

Great article on manifesting abundance, from one of my heroes, Mike Dooley.

BlackLion and I just started a daily dance challenge, to get us moving even in the icy weather. Here are some useful tips for starting a 21-day challenge of your own.

A fascinating article on healing yourself by talking with your cells. Wow.

Here are some nourishing yoga poses for winter.

Freaked out by the state of the world, and politics? Yeah, many of us are. Here are some tips for change-making, and my recent post on avoiding media overwhelm. Also, a unique perspective on dealing with environmental devastation.

You (or your kids) don’t legally have to go to school. You may know that already, but this video is a great summary. And he’s hilarious! Thanks ElvenTiger for sharing it with me.

Remember, please let me know what you’d love to read about here in the weeks to come. Thank you!

Starcat’s Favorites: Transformation

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We’re already almost finished with the first month of 2019, but I’m finding that I’m still processing 2018. Can you relate?

It was a hugely transformational year for me and my family.

We became empty-nesters. Quester broke his ankle, badly, and had to have (not one but two) surgeries. BlackLion got a new job outside the home. I’ve been up-leveling my business, my prosperity, and my writing in expansive new ways. I traveled to Denver and New York City for vacations. I’ve been the recipient of some exciting Big Visions, centering around my career and callings (I got professional photos done, even!). I’ve discovered some new friendships and nurtured some old ones.

Yeah. That’s a lot – and it isn’t even everything!

How about you? How was your 2018? How is your 2019 shaping up so far?

No matter what happens in my life, reading is still one of my favorite things. Here are some of my favorite reads from the autumn and early winter. I hope they inspire and enrich you!

This is the year I turn 50! I’m actually super excited and happy about it. Here’s a cool idea to celebrate a half-century.

Making some changes for the new year? Hang in there – it will get easier!

I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about Marie Kondo’s new show. I also want to read her book; it’s in my virtual “to read” pile on my Kindle.

Bullet journaling? Why yes, I’m still enjoying it. Mine isn’t as fancy as this author’s, but it helps me keep myself organized.

Did anyone else do NaNoWriMo back in November? Here’s how to reward yourself. Also, a deep and insightful article on writing empathy.

Science is (slowly) exploring the existence of magick. I haven’t read the book discussed in this article yet, but it’s on my list.

Feeling weird about wanting to hire household help? Don’t!

I love this story! Synchronicity rocks.

After successfully raising two unschooled kids to adulthood, this post made me go “aww!” So sweet.

Winter pleasures: hot cocoa that’s good for you, new episodes of Dr. Who (note, this article does have a spoiler alert if you haven’t watched yet!), and nurturing yoga classes.

Enjoy the weekend!

I Don’t Mind

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There’s a quote that’s been rolling around in my head for a few months. In his later years, the Indian sage and spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti gave a talk in which he offered to share his secret to living a joyful and fulfilled life.  “This is my secret,” he told a rapt audience. “I don’t mind what happens.”

I’ve been embracing this non-attached approach to experiencing life, and it really does make more space for joy, and for equanimity.

As I release my own little petty attachments, I’ve noticed how silly some of them were. I observe people in my life getting upset about little things: the coffee is burnt, the milk was spilled, the car broke down. To me, these are nothing. They’re just the happenings of life.

It’s even true – or perhaps especially true – in the realm of games. I’ve never really cared if I win a board or card game or not. It’s not really the point, to me – I’m playing in order to spend time with people I like, and to share laughs together. When someone gets upset about not winning, it kind of sours the energy that could still be flowing freely.

I’ve seen an acknowledgement of the “I don’t mind what happens” philosophy in the realm of radical unschooling. Unschooling parents don’t tend to impose lots of arbitrary rules on their kids. You know, like bedtimes, grounding, allowances tied to chores, that sort of thing.

The reasoning behind this is that life already holds plenty of natural consequences to learn from. There’s no need to impose random ones on your kids, in order to “teach them a lesson.” Life will do that. I’m an advocate of letting kids learn by doing, with the exception, of course, of things that threaten their safety, like playing in a busy street.

I fully realize that this approach of not minding what happens can be much harder with the big things in life. When someone you love dies, or you lose your job unexpectedly, or there’s some other kind of crisis, it’s more challenging to “not mind.”

Even in those situations, though, there is usually a lesson or meaning behind what seems to be a random event. You may not discover it until much later. In these situations, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the space and time to grieve.

If you can cultivate that sense of loving non-attachment as you move through life, even when it feels hard, you’ll be crafting a much more fulfilling life. Start with the small things. You spilled the oat milk? So what? Clean it up and drink something else, or give thanks that there’s more in the fridge.

Little by little, release your tight grip of control and allow life to unfold as it will. It’s going to anyway – and when you go with the flow, you’ll have a whole lot more fun. The sage was right.

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