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Starcat’s Favorites: Freedom and Fun

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hammocktimeIt’s Independence Day today in the U.S., where I live. Independence and freedom are words that get bandied about a lot, and getting into a political discussion really isn’t my thing. But I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been enjoying my personal freedom, and so I’m celebrating that.

My kids are teens. My son, Dryst, has just graduated from our wholeschool (we didn’t just stay home…even though it’s popularly known as homeschooling). My daughter ElvenTiger is 16 and has her first real boyfriend. They are amazing people, and becoming more self-sufficient by the day. Their independence is giving me more freedom to do what I love to do, like go away on retreats and dive into learning new things. I’m glad that they do still choose to hang out with me regularly, as well. My family is just the best!

This weekend I’m using my freedom to enjoy some vacation days with Quester. We’ll be hiking, swimming, and dancing to live music! Woo hoo!

I hope your weekend is a delight and your summer goes swimmingly. Here are some links to enjoy by the lake or in the hammock.

We’re a bit past the Summer Solstice now, but oh! how I love this post on the abundance of this time of year (and beyond).

Going to a festival, retreat, or intensive? Heed these words of wisdom from an amazing soul.

It feels so good to appreciate the simple things in life.

A deeply thoughtful essay on the body as a mirror and metaphor. Wow.

Here’s my latest post on Kind Over Matter, this one on your younger self and why you should play more.

Blessings of fireflies and cool waters!


Caskets and Comfort Zones

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“A comfort zone is just another word for a casket.” – Quester

Quester came up with that quote about seven years ago, when we were going through a lot of big changes in our lives. The biggest change was that I was quitting my full-time job to stay home with the kids and jump-start my writing career, while he entered the workforce again after being a full-time Dad for more than a decade. These were things that we both agreed we wanted, and yet at the same time, creating big change can be uncomfortable and scary.

The point, though, is that if you’re staying stuck in the same-old, same-old, status quo, just for the sake of being comfortable, you’re not really living. And if you don’t create change on your own terms, eventually the Universe will shake things up, perhaps not in the way you’d hoped.

There’s a woman in my community who seems really devoted to her own comfort zone. She has a job she likes well enough, friends and family she spends time with, and a cozy home with familiar routines she enjoys. Though she’s very kind and seems mostly content, I was kind of shocked to learn that she doesn’t really have any personal goals. She’s just not the type of person who deliberately focuses on how she can grow and learn and become more.

Which is fine, of course. We each live our lives in our own way.

The thing is, though, that the Universe keeps shaking things up for my friend. Over the past few years she’s had health issues, challenges at work, several friends in crisis, and even some trouble with the physical structure of her home. I can’t help but thinking that if she stepped outside of her comfort zone on her own, just a bit, just once in a while, she’d discover that change doesn’t always have to be negative or disruptive. I feel like she’d be a happier person.

The changes we welcome into our lives on purpose can be so much more meaningful than those that happen in order to shake us out of our inertia.

These days, Quester is working with a good friend, doing stone-masonry and landscaping, and is enjoying the work he does. I’ve published two books so far, and I’m working on my third. One of our kids is starting college next week (gulp!) and our other one is enjoying her life as an unschooler, pursuing her passions on her own terms (she would be a junior if she were in high school). No, life hasn’t been without challenges, but by surfing the waves of change on a regular basis, we become more flexible and adaptable.

Even though we’re working for ourselves, setting our own schedules and so forth, it’s still possible to get stuck in that comfort zone. BlackLion and I face that in our business, Feline Dreamers. What we’re doing in a particular area might not be working the way we wish, but it’s familiar, and it’s hard to know what to do instead. So we just keep going.

This fall, I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone once again. I’ve signed up for a business coaching program. It’s my first time investing in myself and my business this way. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. But writing great books and creating interesting content isn’t enough. We want to share our insights and wisdom with lots of people, and that means learning how to do more effective marketing – in an ethical way that doesn’t feel icky.

Fall always feels like a fresh, clean slate to me. It’s that “back to school” feeling, but in a good way, because I’m designing my own curriculum. I feel like pushing myself a bit will help me to be more inspired on many different levels.

What about you? How are you pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone? What goals and aspirations are you ready to pursue?

If you’re ready to create powerful positive change in your life, delving deep into your core beliefs can be a good place to start. Check out our Alchemy of Core Beliefs course, starting September 1st.

Patience & Perseverance – A Pep Talk

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sunflower.jpgHow is it possible that we’ve already reached the end of September? Is it just me, or has this entire month just flown right by?

Also, is anyone else being tossed around by the waves of cosmic energies lately? (Check out the dance of the stars and planets here and here). The super full moon eclipse, Mercury retrograde, and all sorts of conjunction-junctions feel to me like a stormy ride on a choppy sea. Hang on!

Meanwhile, I’ve been hard at work on a couple of big projects. Despite Mercury retrograde’s best attempts to slow me down – my laptop has been out of commission for a couple of weeks and is now in for repairs – I’m nearing completion of the first draft of my third book. It’s all about creating a custom-tailored daily spiritual practice, something I’ve been doing for years and wanted to share with the world. I’ve also been taking an online coaching course for women entrepreneurs with heart-centered businesses. It’s absolutely fantastic, and just what I needed. I’ve also been performing, celebrating birthdays, helping some friends, and more. It’s been two years now since my dear friend Jenn passed away, and I’ve been thinking of her a lot and musing on life and death and what’s beyond.

This has been such a year of transformation for me. How about you?

I arrived at the end of summer feeling like I was firmly grounded in my new sparkling reality – and while that’s true, I’ve been discovering this month how much I still have to learn. The coaching course has helped me to uncover even more old beliefs, resistance, and fears, that I’m now working on letting go. Layers and layers…

There are some significant changes in my family’s life, too, that are really good, but still require some adjustment. My son has started college, and while he’s still living at home for now, he’s become much more self-sufficient and autonomous. I’m so proud of him. My daughter continues to grow, learn, and follow her passions. For the first time in several years, we won’t be attending the weekly EarthSchool homeschooling co-op. She’s grown out of it, and while I’m glad to free up some time each week, I’m going to miss seeing the awesome families there on a regular basis.

Don’t tell anyone, but I even kind of miss soccer. I was a reluctant soccer mom, but it somehow doesn’t seem like fall without it. My son offered to attend a game with me, but it’s just not the same when he’s not out there on the field.

Change is challenging, but it’s how we grow. I’m thankful that my son asks for my help with proof-reading his college papers. My daughter and I are cooking up some fun plans for this year’s unschooling. She and BlackLion and I will be attending the Life Without Instructions conference in just a few days! I’m also really excited about expanding Feline Dreamers, using the new techniques I’m learning from my coach.

As far as riding the waves of the stormy patches, I think what’s helping me most is patience and perseverance. If I have a less-than-productive day, I chalk it up to needing a break, and get back to my writing the next day. When my emotions are all over the place, I do some extra meditation and write it all out in my journal. I let go of guilt and give myself a little pep talk.

It’s up to us to remember, again and again, that we’re not just worthy because of what we do. We are already eternal beings, worthy of love and blessings just by virtue of our existence.

Go forth from that space of self-love and self-acceptance, and follow the sparks of inspiration wherever they take you. Be patient with yourself. Keep trying. Follow your dreams, yes, but also go with the flow, letting your intuition guide you.

Life is an amazing journey, and while it’s often full of unexpected twists and turns, you learn more and more each day.

Stick with it. You’ve got this.

Starcat’s Favorites: Autumn’s Beauty

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I wanted to share an inspiring post with you today about my experience at the Life Without Instructions (LWI) unschooling conference in New Jersey. It will be full of photos of people of all ages enjoying their freedom and joy, with quotes and bits of wisdom that I gleaned from my experience there. It will tie in unschooling, freedom, creativity, and spirituality. It’ll be awesome.

BlackLion took this photo on one of our recent walks.

BlackLion took this photo on one of our recent walks.

Alas, I haven’t had the chance to finish that post just yet. I’ve been recovering from travel and catching up with a bunch of work and household stuff. I’ve also been taking walks and enjoying the beauty of autumn. What a lovely season.

So instead of that post, I’ll share some of my favorite links from the past few weeks – and schedule in some more time to write about LWI soon.

Being your true self isn’t always easy, but it’s so worth it!

Do you have a morning ritual? Something uplifting that you do each morning, just for you? Try it.

Looking for happiness? This episode of NPR’s TED Radio Hour will help with some clues. Also, I highly recommend watching the movie Hector and the Search for Happiness. Laugh and learn.

I guess I’m all about the audio this week. Here’s another terrific public radio program, this one on creativity.

The truth is, being a Mom is hard sometimes. Especially when they’re little. Leonie speaks it out loud.

Have a delightful weekend!

 

Starcat’s Favorites: Inner Enthusiasm

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snowday16Last weekend I had the chance to go to Play Church, which is a new offering from the Play Nexus crew. Their playshops are full of energy, joy, expansion, and high vibes. After some pondering, I decided I wouldn’t go, and BlackLion seemed to think that meant I was feeling low-energy, or not well in some way.

I explained that I was actually quite high-vibe, but in an inner way.

Sometimes my zest for life expresses itself quietly. A morning at home in a comfy chair, with warm clothes, hot tea, and my journal, was what felt the most “YES!” for me at the time. From the outside, it might have looked like I was being passive or quiet, yet my inner world was chock-full of color, ideas, and joy. I wanted some time to unwrap and play with my visions, all on my own.

This time of year feels perfect for exploring your inner enthusiasm. What are the passions that you hold close within your heart? What does your intuition whisper when you get really still and listen closely? What is your imagination brewing up, deep in the wellspring of your soul? What’s lighting up your inner landscape?

It’s an ebb and flow. This weekend, I’m heading off to Play Church, ready to dance and laugh and explore in the company of other joyful seekers.

What’s your weekend looking like? Here are some links to explore as you take time to relax.

Have you chosen your Word of the Year yet? Mine is AUTHENTIC. It’s feeling really good so far. Also, if you haven’t gotten your Leonie Dawson planner yet, what are you waiting for? Seriously, just do it; you’ll love it!!!

Check out these 16 Gentle Practices for Thriving in 2016.

In past years, I had a hard time loving winter. I feel more fondness for it now. If you need some help with savoring the cold and dark season, this article has some good suggestions.

I love this article about having relationships without expectations. It really resonates with my own approach to life and love. “It’s not, in the end, about polyamory at all. It’s about human connection in whatever shape it may take.” Yes!

So much yes to this. “Whole and holy.”

Wisdom from Kris Carr about sugar and what forms of it belong in one’s diet.

Interesting food for thought for entrepreneurs, about following your own career passions rather than settling for someone else’s.

I think this article explaining unschooling via cookie baking does a good job of comparing different approaches to child-led learning.

Enjoy your day, lovely one!

Starcat’s Favorites: Those Dark Nights

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Although this winter has been much milder in terms of weather, I feel like I’ve really been in the deep, dark, depths the past couple of months. You know those infamous “dark nights of the soul?” Yeah, those are the ones.

I’ve written about my troubles here already, so I’m not going to go into it too much more, except to say that my family member who was in hospice has made his transition to the non-physical. I’m finally feeling like I have some of my energy back after being so sick, and my Mom seems to be on the mend as well.

In the meantime, prepare for lots of links, since I’ve had plenty of time resting in bed and reading!

As someone who searches for reasons for just about everything, this article helped me make sense of why things were feeling so dark. This was helpful, too, and so poetic…

Gratitude for living a charmed life.

Here’s where I’m hoping to go, with my trusty word of the year, AUTHENTIC, at my side.

You’re more creative than you think, and here’s why.

Feel like you’re chronically busy? Watch out, as it can negatively affect your health.

I’ve been using this technique of “gridding” for a while now. I first learned of it from my friends at the Play Nexus, but I knew it came from Abraham-Hicks. Here’s a good explanation of the emotional grid technique.

These introvert comics are so adorable! I agree with most of them, though I do actually have fun on vacations.

Yet more reasons why unschooling rocks. Also, “if you want your children to bring original ideas into the world, you need to let them pursue their passions, not yours.”

Starcat’s Favorites: All At Once

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fd140716rockybeachAcadiaAll at once, it’s summer in Maine. The weather is (for the most part) gorgeous. Schedules have changed, wedding and anniversary season is upon us, and the coaching course I’m in is wrapping up. As I write this, I’m also in the midst of getting ready to facilitate a wedding for some friends this afternoon, a workshop I organized is happening tomorrow, and I’m getting ready for a trip on Wednesday. Busy summer season has begun! And seemingly all at once…

Here are some links for you to enjoy, in the hammock or by the water, or when you finally collapse into bed after a delightful weekend day full of fun. Enjoy!

It’s the New Moon in Gemini today, and if it feels pretty intense, you’re not alone. Wow.

On loving yourself fully – so important!

What’s up with creative people hating their own work? This article asks “What happens when persistence gets curdled by perfectionism?”

A little note for the introverts among us. “You don’t need to be anything but what you are.”

I love this look at the future of work. Let’s also rethink money while we’re at it!

Feeling “meh?” Maybe you just need to take a break.

I may have shared this article before – it’s one of my recent Kind Over Matter posts – but I’m so immersed in this work right now, I just had to send it around again.

Our unschooling friends Lainie and Miro did an awesome TED Talk in Amsterdam!

Enjoy your weekend, and blessings!

Starcat’s Favorites: Seeking Ideas

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snugglingbeastiesWow, how can it be February already? This has been a very wintry week here in frosty Maine. After a lull, we’ve been having snowstorms left and right. But hey, even though the days are growing longer, it’s still winter for a few more weeks. Especially here. It’s so chilly, cats have been seen snuggling with dogs!

I’m currently seeking ideas for posts to share with you here.

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting as often, and part of it is that I’ve been busy with life in general and with my business, Feline Dreamers. But I’m also wondering what topics you’d most love to hear about. Please leave a comment below and let me know.

Some of my own ideas for upcoming posts include another in the series on the Tarot (got a particular card you’re wondering about?), a report on how my bullet journaling adventure is going (spoiler: I love it!!!), and maybe an excerpt from my most recent book, The Heart of the Goddess. What do you think?

Okay, on with the best of the links I’ve discovered over the past month or so! Enjoy your weekend.

Last month ElvenTiger turned 18! I know, big milestone! She’s my youngest, so it’s also a milestone for me as a Mom – we’re in a whole new phase of parenting now. I freaking love my adult kids and their partners! Anyway, since she’s an awesome Capricorn (and I have some wonderful Capricorn friends, too), here’s a post on why this sign is so essential to keep around.

Great article on manifesting abundance, from one of my heroes, Mike Dooley.

BlackLion and I just started a daily dance challenge, to get us moving even in the icy weather. Here are some useful tips for starting a 21-day challenge of your own.

A fascinating article on healing yourself by talking with your cells. Wow.

Here are some nourishing yoga poses for winter.

Freaked out by the state of the world, and politics? Yeah, many of us are. Here are some tips for change-making, and my recent post on avoiding media overwhelm. Also, a unique perspective on dealing with environmental devastation.

You (or your kids) don’t legally have to go to school. You may know that already, but this video is a great summary. And he’s hilarious! Thanks ElvenTiger for sharing it with me.

Remember, please let me know what you’d love to read about here in the weeks to come. Thank you!


Starcat’s Favorites: Transformation

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We’re already almost finished with the first month of 2019, but I’m finding that I’m still processing 2018. Can you relate?

It was a hugely transformational year for me and my family.

We became empty-nesters. Quester broke his ankle, badly, and had to have (not one but two) surgeries. BlackLion got a new job outside the home. I’ve been up-leveling my business, my prosperity, and my writing in expansive new ways. I traveled to Denver and New York City for vacations. I’ve been the recipient of some exciting Big Visions, centering around my career and callings (I got professional photos done, even!). I’ve discovered some new friendships and nurtured some old ones.

Yeah. That’s a lot – and it isn’t even everything!

How about you? How was your 2018? How is your 2019 shaping up so far?

No matter what happens in my life, reading is still one of my favorite things. Here are some of my favorite reads from the autumn and early winter. I hope they inspire and enrich you!

This is the year I turn 50! I’m actually super excited and happy about it. Here’s a cool idea to celebrate a half-century.

Making some changes for the new year? Hang in there – it will get easier!

I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about Marie Kondo’s new show. I also want to read her book; it’s in my virtual “to read” pile on my Kindle.

Bullet journaling? Why yes, I’m still enjoying it. Mine isn’t as fancy as this author’s, but it helps me keep myself organized.

Did anyone else do NaNoWriMo back in November? Here’s how to reward yourself. Also, a deep and insightful article on writing empathy.

Science is (slowly) exploring the existence of magick. I haven’t read the book discussed in this article yet, but it’s on my list.

Feeling weird about wanting to hire household help? Don’t!

I love this story! Synchronicity rocks.

After successfully raising two unschooled kids to adulthood, this post made me go “aww!” So sweet.

Winter pleasures: hot cocoa that’s good for you, new episodes of Dr. Who (note, this article does have a spoiler alert if you haven’t watched yet!), and nurturing yoga classes.

Enjoy the weekend!

I Don’t Mind

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There’s a quote that’s been rolling around in my head for a few months. In his later years, the Indian sage and spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti gave a talk in which he offered to share his secret to living a joyful and fulfilled life.  “This is my secret,” he told a rapt audience. “I don’t mind what happens.”

I’ve been embracing this non-attached approach to experiencing life, and it really does make more space for joy, and for equanimity.

As I release my own little petty attachments, I’ve noticed how silly some of them were. I observe people in my life getting upset about little things: the coffee is burnt, the milk was spilled, the car broke down. To me, these are nothing. They’re just the happenings of life.

It’s even true – or perhaps especially true – in the realm of games. I’ve never really cared if I win a board or card game or not. It’s not really the point, to me – I’m playing in order to spend time with people I like, and to share laughs together. When someone gets upset about not winning, it kind of sours the energy that could still be flowing freely.

I’ve seen an acknowledgement of the “I don’t mind what happens” philosophy in the realm of radical unschooling. Unschooling parents don’t tend to impose lots of arbitrary rules on their kids. You know, like bedtimes, grounding, allowances tied to chores, that sort of thing.

The reasoning behind this is that life already holds plenty of natural consequences to learn from. There’s no need to impose random ones on your kids, in order to “teach them a lesson.” Life will do that. I’m an advocate of letting kids learn by doing, with the exception, of course, of things that threaten their safety, like playing in a busy street.

I fully realize that this approach of not minding what happens can be much harder with the big things in life. When someone you love dies, or you lose your job unexpectedly, or there’s some other kind of crisis, it’s more challenging to “not mind.”

Even in those situations, though, there is usually a lesson or meaning behind what seems to be a random event. You may not discover it until much later. In these situations, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the space and time to grieve.

If you can cultivate that sense of loving non-attachment as you move through life, even when it feels hard, you’ll be crafting a much more fulfilling life. Start with the small things. You spilled the oat milk? So what? Clean it up and drink something else, or give thanks that there’s more in the fridge.

Little by little, release your tight grip of control and allow life to unfold as it will. It’s going to anyway – and when you go with the flow, you’ll have a whole lot more fun. The sage was right.





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